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Short Essays and Responses

Short Essay #2

The lives of the American blacks have endured a lot of hatred shortly after the establishment of America. It all began with slavery which officially ended in 1865, but it is something that has and will still continue to hold significance in the identity of American blacks. Laws were made to narrow the wide gap between the black race and the white race such as the end of public discrimination. Unfortunately, today there is still discrimination and unequal opportunities for the black community. The Anglo-Protestant cultural ideas that America was founded by, self-reliance, self-improvement, and the work ethic, is one that applies to the majority of America, but does not entirely apply to the American blacks. The blacks have experienced some of the Anglo-Protestant cultural ideas such as self-improvement through Affirmative Action, but the lack of equality and presence of discrimination outweighs the betterment that they have felt.  

The past is something that constantly affects the present and more so the future, so we ought not to forget about the past. In the lives of the American blacks, they are faced with the scary and sad truth of their race’s history. Many would think that if something harmful to society was taken away that society will return to peace and happiness shortly after. This can happen, but not at the magnitude of what the American blacks have gone through. Even with reforms such as the Fourteenth Amendment, “blacks remained nonetheless subject to extreme forms of segregation and discrimination, including denial of the right to vote, for another century” (Huntington, 55). This became a recurring pattern for the blacks just like when Affirmative Action was established, and companies and school administers still held American blacks to a lower standard. It hasn’t always been the case for blacks when they experienced positive reform; there has been improvement, but the point is that you cannot get completely rid of the past especially those with strong views so there continues to be a mistreatment of American blacks. 

American blacks cannot take full advantage of the Anglo-Protestant cultural ideas because ever since they stepped foot on American soil, they were never seen as equal to the white race. The hatred and out-right mistreatment has decreased, but it is still present. The fate of an American black is different than an American white, and it is important to understand that the Anglo-Protestant cultural ideas were put forth only for the American whites. Since the abolishment of slavery, America has been trying to even out the imbalance between blacks and whites, but once a race experiences such abuse then it is nearly impossible to change the views of others especially the ones who were in control. It is tough for a superior race to see a race that was inferior for so long as the same. That is what is happening in America today. “The overwhelming consensus is that current racial inequalities are the result of historical oppression” (Wax, 13). The matter of the fact is that we cannot change the past, but we can learn from it and do everything we can to better the future, so that such mistreatment of a race doesn’t happen again. 

6 replies on “Short Essay #2”

I like various aspects of your introduction and think it lays out your argument nicely. If I had to focus in on one critique, you might want to bring up some more recent examples of oppression to support your arguments. I agree that we need to learn from the past, as we cannot change former wrongdoings, but in what ways can we as a society today improve existing social constructs? Your conclusion draws all your points to a solid close, but again I feel as if citing some more recent information would be beneficial to your argument.

You have definitely done a good job in your summarization on the history of discrimination in America which is a good build-up to your main argument. If I was to suggest one area that you may want to revise is how you describe the current state of racism in America and how it affects the current opportunities. While your focus of the existing structures is also important is it may be beneficial to include a section that would be a counterclaim. This would help bring your essay to a portfolio level piece.

I really like the message of your essay, and you have a very strong opening paragraph. My only piece of advice would be to add some more examples and statistics that aren’t just more abstract quotes and ideas to strengthen your argument. Also, if you bring up some counterclaims, perhaps by Wax herself, and refute them, I think that would really strengthen your argument. Overall I thought the essay was very good,

You bring up a lot of good points, and your introduction draws the reader in well. I agree with the opening point that anglo-protestant ideals have not entirely applied to American Blacks, and even the aspects that have applied have been unable to bring the American Blacks to equality. In order to strengthen your analysis, I would try and pull a few more quotes from the text and expand on them. Additionally, I would try to discuss some tangible solutions for the problems that you discuss. Overall, this is a very passionate and well done essay.

I think your essay can be improved by introducing the works that you cite and perhaps providing some backround information about the authors and subjects. Also, I think your topic sentences could be formulated as to better capture the point of the paragraph that you are trying to make. Your argument logically follows when you cite the results of discrimination, but I think you need to provide more concrete evidence of discrimination in order to have the argument follow more logically. An interesting point to tie back to in your essay would be Alexander De Tocqueville’s reflection on why issues of race will persist in America. In your paper you say that ” America has been trying to even out the imbalance between blacks and whites, but once a race experiences such abuse then it is nearly impossible to change the views of others, especially the ones that were in control.” De Tocqueville in a way echoes a similar point when he argues that the races in America look so different so, while discrimination may end someday, distinction amongst the races will likely last forevor.

I think you present a strong argument in this essay. You take a clear stance on the prompt and provide a few good examples, like mentioning affirmative action, and the quotes you used strengthened this short essay. I do think a few additional examples would be beneficial to this essay, but overall I think this essay flows well.

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