Regnerus’ argument, and the evidence he musters to support it, shows clearly that the current mating and dating culture/market is harmful to the interests of most women and just makes it easier for men to get the central good they want from women (sexual access) without any real exchange of other goods that women desire (e.g., emotional attachment, long-term monogamous commitment). As a society, we should rethink this piece of our culture and try to find ways to adjust it in ways that would make the experiences of women like Alyssa (who is described at length in the book) more fulfilling and healthy
In the book Cheap Sex, Regnerus argues that the current dating market, characterized by contraceptives, dating apps, pornography, and overall access to “cheap sex”, just makes it easier for men to get the “central good” they desire from women, while making it harder for women to get what they desire. He claims that women desire relationships and emotional attachment, but for countless reasons, in the era of “cheap sex”, monogamy and marriage are becoming less and less common. I believe that as a society we should rethink this part of our culture to a certain extent, however, many aspects of the problem that deserve the rethinking are not discussed at length in by Regnerus.
There is no denying that in our society, sex has become easier to access, and this has had numerous effects on our culture overall. Sex is less of risk, as with “new” technology, sex doesn’t necessarily lead to pregnancy. In the past, men and women would wait longer to have sex, as they both would usually want to be prepared to raise a baby if they did. People needed to invest in a personal relationship, both emotionally and economically, before developing a sexual one. Regnerus brings up data that shows more people than ever before are having sex on the first date, or before starting a committed relationship. He also states that monogamy is less common than it ever has been. Though correlation does not equal causation, it seems fairly intuitive that this sudden increase in availability of sex would lead to a decrease of people working hard for it.
There are definitely pros and cons to this development, but I believe it is an overall good thing for women, even though it does lead to some harsh consequences for them. In the book, we read about Carlos, who watches porn even though it upsets his girlfriend. In my opinion, Carlos clearly doesn’t care much about his girlfriend, but she stays with him, arguably because there are more eligible women on the market than men, so she might feel like she has to. We should be concerned if we are in a society that produces many men like Carlos. However, the past also produced many men like Carlos. In the 1950’s, a Carlos could have been married to a woman and cheated on her, and she wouldn’t have any ability to leave him, since she’d be financially dependent and probably share a kid with him. In the 1950’s, men could still get away with being sexually promiscuous (to a lesser extent), while women never could. It is undoubtedly better to live in a society where women at least have the freedom to leave bad men, and to do what they want sexually without being as ostracized.
That being said, I still feel we need to rethink this problem, but the only way to do this is by looking forward, and trying to create a better world with this new sex culture. Things are hard for women in the dating market, but things have always been hard for them. In the 1950’s and 60’s, men worked harder to have sex with them, giving them more of what they wanted, but that is because those women didn’t have the financial capabilities to give themselves these things. In this world, women were often still looked at as less than human. Today, this still can be true, even though many men do respect women wholeheartedly. There is evidence that in a sexual context, women tend to see men as full people, with personalities and a life story, more often than men look at women that way. I realize many men do not think this way, and some women do, but as long as the “central good” a large number of men want from women is sex, women cannot be seen in full. This dichotomy can a least partially explain the evidence in Cheap Sex stating more women report being interested in relationships and emotional attachment. There is evidence in the book to show that most people want to get married and have kids, and it is human nature to want love and companionship. I think in order to move forward and make things better for women in the dating world, we need to create a society that does its best to make men see them as more than just people to have sex with, and make the ones who want to get married want to be good husbands, not because they have to but because they can.
5 replies on “Short essay 6”
I found this short essay to be especially well written and effectively organized. Not only this, but I found myself wholeheartedly convinced by your argument and it made me question many aspects of the book that I had not questioned before. For example, through Regnerus’ argument, it seems that he places very little of the responsibility for change on the men. Instead he seems to argue for a societal change that once again raises the price of sex causing women to have to restrain from their own sexual freedom. I think you effectively incorporated evidence from the text. I think it would also be beneficial to at some point state that due to societal and gender expectations, it is highly possible that many women do not respond to surveys and interviews entirely truthfully. Therefore, they may be more content with cheaper sex than Regnerus’ data lets on. This would strengthen your argument that today’s culture grants women more sexual freedom. I also thought it was interesting that you partially agreed with the prompt. This gave your answer more depth. Overall, I thought this essay was outstanding and I really enjoyed reading your ideas.
This is a great essay, as you do a good job of using your opinion as well as Regnerus’ ideas to help support your argument. A very strong aspect of your writing is that your ideas are well organized. Furthermore, in the beginning you do a good job giving background information on the topic as well as the book. In the end, you conclude your ideas nicely and I found it interesting when you talk about going forward into the future.
Your essay does a good job responding accurately to the question and your argument is presented very well. I agree with your point that something needs to be changed in the modern sex market. However, it is important to recognize that the marketplace has never been perfect and issues of today are not necessarily worse or better than in the past, just different. In a culture that permits more casual sex, there is no scenario where women will not lose at least some power in the transaction. Something needs to be done to re-stabilize this delicate balance to a point where it is once again enjoyable to both genders.
I enjoyed reading your essay and seeing your analysis grow and strengthen throughout the essay. You could provide actual evidence to make your analysis stronger and more convincing. I liked your last paragraph as you add something new that you haven’t spoken about yet. I agree that as a society we cannot go back to try to fix this problem, but instead try to better the future. We need to as a society accept and acknowledge the flaws of men in relationships. We should not be negative and down, but instead positive and excited to make a change.
You did a great job writing this short essay and focusing on the topic at hand, like I said in class. I like how you conclude with the idea of looking forward and striving to rethink this issue to find the best solution. I think it is important to realize that this sex market is evolving as we are, and so is technology. The evolution of the mating and dating market should be studied so we can find the best solution for the issue at hand. What steps should be taken to reform this market?