In reflection from reading Amy L. Wax’s Race Wrongs and Remedies it is clear to me now that there are phycological effects that are taken into acount while someone is being discriminated based on their race. This is shown in many examples in the text, “The image of blacks as psychically damaged by their oppressive treatment and lowly social position is longstanding…” (97) This quote shows how judgment in their past and social norms have forced them into a hole that has been constructed by society. This implies that a certain person should be in a certain class of society or a certain line of work. This makes no sense to me as everyone should have the same opportunities and chances as anyone. Any human should not be told that they cannot be in any line of work or live in any society as anyone else, except predetermined social constructs define people’s socioeconomic statuses.
A person‘s “American Identity” should be determined by what they believe in as an individual and not what someone else tells them. “The truth is that blacks have been victimized by white racism, and this treatment is the cause of many present ills.” (99) Introducing the thought that white people have been control of the black mans destiny even after the abolition of slavery, causing them to be cast into the same metaphorical hole that disallows them to progress and remain relevant in society. The idea of having another race controlling you physically or mentally is still the same definition of slavery. If white people are still oppressing blacks and not allowing them to progress in society by establishing social constructs that do not allow them to progress naturally then as a society as a whole we have not truly abolished slavery.
The only solution to the problem of associating a race to a specific class of society is to socially appropriate their norms, in other words accepting who they are in our society. People should rather embrace a persons identity rather than ignoring who they actually are. (77) This intrigues me because it means that one should look more in depth into someone’s history in order to learn more about it. Because once your are aware and informed about where someone comes from you are innately more prone to be accepting of their past. If we completely forget about how oppressed blacks have been in our society then we will be doomed to repeat our actions. When we, as a society, are more informed about the turmoil and stress that someone has gone through then the less likely a person is to make fun of or insult them. Because of the previously defined social constructs, that are still being enforced by some, clearly have an effect on how any previously oppressed cultures they are less likely to progress and achieve an identity that is truly theirs. Learning and understanding ones past is the key to universal integration of all ways of life into our society.
10 replies on “Short Essay RWR”
I agree that making sure everyone is knowledgeable about the past will help the movement towards equality in American society. The psychological impacts of discrimination are longstanding and without the acknowledgement and understanding about the history behind it all there is little possibility that a social shift could occur in American society.
I think that the points and evidence you use to support your opinion in this piece are relevant and well selected. That being said, some of your quotes could be more connected to the surrounding sentences and more effectively set in the paragraph. Overall, I do not think your essay is organized in the way that best conveys your point. A clear thesis, introduction, topic sentences, and perhaps a conclusion would give your argument more of a shape so that your opinion and the evidence you provide have an evident and easily perceptible direction to them.
Your evidence connects well with your argument, however the flow is a little off. I think you can incorporate the quotes a little better which will give you a stronger argument. I agree with your statement, “The idea of having another race controlling you physically or mentally is still the same definition of slavery.” This is the fight in todays world as well, this simple statement is what holds the discrimination for the black race.
Overall, I enjoyed your short essay as it was filled with good arguments and you do a good job analyzing your ideas. While your ideas were good, they could have been a little more effective if you had a more clear structure of your paper especially with your thesis. However, you do use good quotes and analyze them well, but they too could have been more effective if they were more connected to your argument. This would make your short essay flow better and allow your argument to be more clear. Throughout your short essay you make some interesting statements that I agree with, one of which was when you explain that a person’s “American Identity” should be what they believe in and not what others think. Another point that you make that was interesting to read was when you explain how slavery in some ways has not been abolished if white people are still oppressing blacks.
I felt as though this essay included many strong examples in conveying the idea that blacks are subordinate within American society. Despite this though, coming up with a clear thesis statement and strong topic sentences would be ideal for the ‘flow’ of this paper. Paraphrasing, as opposed to block quoting evidence from Wax’s text would make the themes presented more dependent upon your own words. Nonetheless, this paper has much potential and organization is a key factor in further progressing your concepts.
You mention that some former racial social constructs are still being enforced, but it is important to recognize that is not nearly to the same extent that it was in the past. In terms of the essay, you do a very good jobs supporting your points with facts and evidence. Like some previous comments said it may work better to paraphrase instead of directly quoting in some instances to integrate your argument more into some sentences. Other than that, it was very well written and the conclusion brings the SE to a nice close.
I thought your essay brought a lot of strong arguments. Although it was only one sentence in your essay I liked the part where you said if a race is being oppressed mentally or physically by another race is still the definition of slavery. I think that this is a true statement that todays society still struggles with. I think a main reason some black people do struggle to progress in society is partly their own fault but also the oppression they have to deal with since birth.
I find your points and supporting argument was extremely effective a proving your argument. Although, I find the construction of your paragraphs could be better organized. Additionally, it would have been beneficial to further clarify a thesis statement to clarify and introduce your argument further in teh first paragraph.
I really enjoyed your essay as you had a good argument with some good examples. One way to possibly improve your short essay could be to mention the Anglo-Protestant view of American identity, even if it just a couple of sentences. This will provide more background information on the topic and could help improve the structure of your essay. Also, to help improve your argument, you should try to strengthen your thesis which will make your argument more clear and easy to understand for the readers. Also, to provide more support for your thesis you could mention some of the specific barriers faced by black people. One thing you did very well was use good quotes that supported your argument, which can be seen in your first two paragraphs. In your second paragraph, you could expand on the ideas even more and mention how Wax explains that victims need to make the change from within. Therefore, you could mention how this has been done in the past with movements and other social changes and how it may continue to happen in the future.
You bring up some solid points here. I like how you tied the idea of being controlled by another race to the ideas of slavery. This point could be strengthened by drawing in some quotes and more evidence from the text. Also, I think your points would come off more effectively if you introduced them briefly in the first paragraph and had a central thesis you were arguing. Overall, this is a solid essay and you bring up some good points.