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Short Essays and Responses

Short Essay 4

Through the introduction of the institution of slavery, the unique situation of American blacks was formed. Once Africans were thrown onto the slave ships, they experienced a loss of ethnic identity. These people were no longer defined by their individual tribes and groups, instead race was formed and they became labeled simply as “black.” When they reached America, they were understood as commodities, not worthy of being titled human. As time has passed, progress has been made. Blacks were freed from slavery and now have the rights of white Americans. However, as Wax alludes to in Race, Wrongs and Remedies it is evident that there are still great discrepancies between the lives of blacks and whites in America that are remnants of the past. Considering that the United States of America was settled by Anglo-Protestants, and is therefore rooted in cultural ideals including self-reliance, self-improvement, and the work ethic, it is necessary to consider whether these values hold true today for all Americans, including blacks. We can effectively understand aspects of the situation of American blacks through the Anglo-Protestant view of American identity. Historically disadvantaged groups are not entirely powerless, however a balance between systematic changes and individual changes must be implemented. 

As previously established, the particular situation of American blacks is a result of past events, such as slavery. Through time, improvement has occurred. For example, blacks were eventually freed from slavery, given the right to vote, segregation came to an end, and there have been many attempts to establish institutional diversity. It is important to note that many improvements and steps forward have come from individual demands and protests. For example, as a result of the Civil Rights Movement, in which many groups came together to gain more rights for American blacks, the Civil Rights Act of 1964 was passed. This act ended public segregation and employment discrimination. This structural and governmental change would never have occurred without the influence of individuals who stepped up and fought for their rights. Through Wax’s novel, she argues that it is now on the shoulders of American blacks to remedy the discrimination that prevails in America against them. However, as can be seen in the case of the Civil Rights Movement, it is a combination of societal changes and individual changes that most effectively lead to change. 

Another situation in which it is clear that American blacks are not entirely powerless to help themselves is that of mass incarceration. There are significantly more black Americans in jail than any other race or ethnicity in the country. This could most definitely be a result of racism and discrimination, and arguably is. Therefore, it is necessary for this discrimination to be eradicated. However, this cannot occur unless citizens force systematic changes. Wax argues that it is the responsibility of American blacks to change their point of view, escape the psychology of victimization, and change their behavior. But it is necessary to recognize that just because more black Americans are in jail does not necessarily indicate that they are committing any more crimes than other races, it only indicates that they are the ones most often caught and penalized for crime. In this case, behavior may not be the only aspect of the situation that needs to be altered. Therefore, it is not entirely up to the individual to make changes, but it is an important aspect for effective progress. Individual efforts and behavioral alterations can lead to necessary structural changes.

It can be stated that the position of black Americans in the country today is a result of the past and conceptions of race that were placed on these people. However, as Wax states, this does not render black Americans powerless in the steps toward progress. Of course their position in society was not created by themselves, and therefore in an ideal world they would be restored to equality without having to contribute to this restoration, but a combination of structural changes and individual effort is most effective. The original Anglo-Protestant view of American identity, self-reliance, self-improvement, and work ethic, is compatible with future progress of historically disadvantaged groups such as black Americans. It has an important role in this progress, however it is not the only strategy that should be implemented.

13 replies on “Short Essay 4”

I agree that there needs to be a dual approach to the issues within the African American community in that an external force may be able to create some change but not all of it. Certain aspects of American life as you mentioned cannot be changed through the work of others and must be approached through ones individual self. I also agree that there are systematic issues in place that create disadvantages in society and in the area of incarceration these issues impact different groups disproportionately. The issues in todays current society need to be solved and a dual approach of both external change and internal change would be most effective.

Lily, you essay is very well written. Your argument is backed up with evidence from within the book and implemented into the essay perfectly. Your argument towards systematic changes is the overall solution to all the discriminatory problems. The fight to change peoples views of culture and to accept the actions, the background, and the life they have been living needs to change will take time. But realizing this is the start to change within society, in the criminal justice system and everyday life.

I really enjoyed your short essay as you make a great argument and support it with strong examples from the readings. Additionally, your ideas are very clear and well organized, as your writing flows well and it is easy to understand what you are arguing. More specifically, your first paragraph was extremely effective as you introduce the topic well by talking about African Americans first coming to America and being enslaved. This not only provided background information on the topic, but also got my attention. Furthermore, you do a good job of explaining how blacks were able to have some gains over time, much of this has been due to social and individual changes through movements. This was a good example of Wax’s argument that changes have to come from the victims and within, as you mention the Civil Rights Movement. Additionally, your paragraph about black people being in jail was effective and backed up your argument. Overall, this was a great essay that clearly referenced the readings as well as used your own ideas and analysis.

I felt as though this short essay was very well put. The introductory paragraph laid out the foundation of the paper with an evident thesis statement. Moving forward, the initial body paragraph gave specific examples of black empowerment such as the Civil Rights Act of 1946. The second paragraph highlights the skepticism around black peoples justice within the judicial system. This topic is very gloomy as there are many specific instances and variables that tie into the reasoning as to why there are more blacks incarcerated than any other race within American society. The viewpoint of self-reliance and improvement are presented from that of Wax. Lastly, the concluding paragraph does a fine job in wrapping up the paper, leaving the reader with much to think about.

Your essay is clearly well written and you do a good job compiling multiple points behind one central argument. It is easy to point to the past and cite how “blacks” were treated as mere commodities and not as humans in the past. It is more difficult, however, to point to aspects of modern society that are still problematic. I think you do a good job of covering this when discussing prison rates in the third paragraph, but it could play to you advantage to cite a few more basic examples like poverty rates, percentages in city living, etc. I think it’s important to look at this issue holistically in order to analyze the situation and be capable of making actual change in the modern world.

I think you essay shows strong arguments supported by claims from the book. You did a great job of stating you claims clearly and effectively. I really likes how you point out in the second paragraph a historical context showing how movements can be done. You showed how individual and society change is the only way you can make things happen, not just the victim changing. The fact that you brought in a historical event made your paper very strong and also drew the reader in wanting them to keep reading to see what else you would say about the topic.

Lily, your essay was well written and a great counterpoint to Wax’s ideas. If there is an area for you to work on to elevate this short essay I would recommend that the second body paragraph is revised to eliminate some of the overlaps between it and your first paragraph. In doing this it would free up some space for you to elaborate on the societal changes that you bring up at the end of this section. A few minor elaborations on your claims would also go a long way to bring this essay to a portfolio level.

I find you did a great job of using a variety of different points each with contextual evidence to support your argument. I agree that societal-level changes are necessary to provoke change in our modern-day world and the future to come. Your statement regarding how time is necessary to allow this to occur is well stated and necessary to recognize to inflict change.

I agree with the arguments you make in the essay and I think you did a very good job of proving your point. I think your opening was very strong, and I like how you pointed out that many of the changes already made, such as the ending of segregation, was because of the individual efforts of the black community, a point it sometimes feels like Wax has forgotten. I also think your paragraph about incarceration is very strong, and I think a good addition to that would be to talk about how some poor inner city communities have environments that could lead to more violence as well. Overall, I really agree with pretty much everything you have to say. While having a “victimization” mindset is not always helpful in creating change, change does come with a balance of individual and systematic changes.

Your essay was very well written and you showed a full understanding of Wax’s ideas. Your first paragraph was successful in laying out the topics you were going to discuss in the essay. Something that your essay talked about that the others didn’t was that despite of some of the unfair disadvantages that blacks faced throughout history, some of the responsibility is on the blacks to right some of the wrongs that have been committed against them. I think that is a very important point that Wax mentioned in her book.

After going over your essay in class, I think my comments are still largely the same as the previous one. I think this is a very good and well written essay, and the only thing I think you should do is elaborate about some of the topics you talk about, such as incarceration, and the effect of African American’s losing their identity after being forced to come to the Americas as slaves.

Just to reiterate what was said in class, I think this essay was very well written. Some areas that I think could have benefitted from would be an expansion on the section about incarceration. Having some more data and elaborating on some points could make the essay stronger. Overall as a whole, the essay was good and was structured very well.

This is a very well written essay. I like how you invoke an emotional appeal in the first paragraph to really draw the reader in. Additionally, you provide a nice contrast between Anglo-Protestant ideals and the mass incarceration of African Americans. If you could improve one thing, I would recommend quoting the text a bit more and tying quotes from the text into some of the points you make to increase the quality of your analysis. Overall, this is a very good essay.

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